Just a Birthday

It's just another day. I don't feel like celebrating today. You see, in just 14 minutes (I was born at 8:54 P.M. ... so I won't be 38 until then) I will be a year older.

To date, this has got to be the most difficult birthday I have ever had. You see, I have ALWAYS been the baby in the family. Well, in just a few minutes I will no longer be the baby. I know this sounds ridiculous, but in my mind and my heart this is a BIG deal.

You see Cynthia and I are five months apart, she was older. Now, she will forever be 37 in my mind. I will no longer be the baby. I know this sounds so very stupid...even typing it out I feel like a fool, but I can't get over the fact that something that has been a part of me for so long is no longer going to e the case because such an important person in my life is no longer here.

She always called me on my birthday, I really miss that.

A group of us walked in the Dallas Race for the Cure yesterday. It was a very emotional time. Sometimes I get so very depressed I can't breathe. I know she would not want me to be sad, but I miss her desperately.

Eight more minutes of being the baby.......